CWC Presents [The CWC logo flashes on and off the black screen in a matter of seconds, as we fade into a black and white clip of Bryan Baxman in the ring at “The Big Bang Theory.” In the bottom left hand corner of the screen it reads “The Big Bang Theory - Last Thursday.” As Baxman’s standing in the ring, we hear Beav’s voice echoing in the background.] Beav: WELCOME WRESTLING FANS TO THE FIRST EVER CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING COUNCIL EVENT! I’M HAL CLEAVER SITTING BESIDE MY LONGTIME PARTNER MIKEY MUNSON AND THIS IS THE BIG BANG THEORY! [The scene skips ahead to a point where Baxman is now in the middle of his address to the crowd.] Baxman: There’s always been the wonder of just how our universe started...of how anything truly came to be. Some people still believe that God created the earth in 7 days, giving us everything we would ever need to grow as a society. If you ask me...that story has quite a few holes in it. [The crowd gives a little bit of a laugh.] [Cuts ahead another few seconds] Baxman: So what you’re about to see is a show that wrestling promotions that have been in business for years could only dream about putting together Tonight, you’re going to see some wrestling matches that you’d never see anywhere else! [Cut ahead again] Baxman: Tonight, we put “The Big Bang Theory” to one of the biggest tests you can attempt....what happens when you start off a new wrestling company with one of the most stacked match line-ups this business has ever seen! [With his last words echoing, the scene immediately cuts to action clips of “The Big Bang Theory” as “The Big Bang Theory” by Snoop Dogg’s Eastsidaz plays in the background. We see The Demon finishing off Cristiano da Cunha Oliveira, then “The Gambler” Ace being slammed through a table, then Obnoxio chokeslamming Savage Youth, then Adam “Crazed” James posing in a crucifix stance as Jeremiah Belmont is tied up in the ropes with his “crown of barbed wire thorns” wrapped tight around his head, then Ryu Nakajima in a quick exchange of technical wrestling moves, and finally ending with Fallen Angel cracking Hardcore Legend in the head with a steel chair, and Jackson hitting his finisher afterwards. Beav’s voice is the final thing that rings out as the scene fades to black.] Beav: This certainly has been one heckuva “Big Bang” to start things off!
--Where in the HELL are they?-- [We now cut to a live shot in the backstage area where Bryan Baxman is pacing in a hallway on his cell phone wearing a pair of black slacks and a white button up shirt with the collar undone.] Baxman: I know they need to show up! I have my people trying to track them down right now. I KNOW they’re in town, because they were in the offices two days ago! [He stops and listens on the other end.] Baxman: No sir, that won’t be necess... [He’s obviously cut off.] Baxman: Yeah, I understand. I’ll let you... [He stops in mid-sentence, and pulls the phone away from his ear looking at it, and then folds it closed.] Baxman: So much for at least saying good bye and good luck... [Suddenly, Kirsta Lewis’ voice is heard from just off camera.] Kirsta: Problem? [The camera pans out just as Baxman turns and looks to his left, where Kirsta Lewis is standing there looking at him with a mischievous grin.] Baxman: Kirsta...have you seen The Border Patrol? Not only do I need The Flying Enchilada here... Kirsta: I believe it’s “Burrito”... Baxman: Whatever...I need the other one here two, and nobody’s seen or heard from them since Tuesday! Kirsta: Sounds like you’ve got yourself a bit of a problem there, Bryan... [Baxman narrows her eyes.] Kirsta: And just what is THAT look for? Baxman: First off, you will address me as Mr. Baxman. Second of all, my problems are EVERYONE’S problems around here, do you understand? I need you to spread the word to the rest of the locker room that we need to find... [Kirsta suddenly reaches out and puts her hand over his mouth, and her mischievous grin turns to a look of anger.] Kirsta: Excuse me? I think you know that’s not quite true as far as I’m concerned...BRYAN! [She slowly pulls her hand away, and Baxman looks at her frustrated. He finally responds to her in a rather tongue-in-cheek manner.] Baxman: I’m sorry, can you please help me out? Kirsta: That’s better. I’ll see what I can do...if I have the time. I’d hate for your boss to be in a bad mood over something like this. [She winks at him and walks away, leaving him to watch her disappear around a corner.] Baxman: Dealing with her isn’t going to be easy... [He looks up as a staff member with a clipboard walks by.] Baxman: Hey! You! Have you seen two luchadors that don’t speak very much English walking around here at all? [The man just shakes his head and walks on.] Baxman: Damn it...they could be anywhere in this city...
--Start the Show-- [We cut to the opening Whiplash montage, as the opening electronic tones of Linkin Park’s “Points of Authority” begin to play, while we see flashes of the faces of various CWC wrestlers. Once the heavy guitar riff kicks in, we go through a quick action sequence before the “Whiplash” logo flashes all over the screen, and finally settles in the center as the music cuts out, and we move to inside of the Bill Graham Civic Auditorium. The place is almost filled to the 4,000 seat capacity it was set up at for the event, and the fans are hot, screaming and cheering, holding up signs such as “Purr for me Hell Cat!”, “MAKE THE VOICES STOP!”, and “TAKE ME BACK TO THE FUTURE SHANE!” The camera finally cuts to the ringside commentator’s table, where we find Hal “The Beav” Cleaver and Mikey “The Mouth” Munson wearing similar CWC polo shirts. Beav’s hair is combed in the usual schoolboy fashion, as Mouth has his New York Yankee’s cap turned backwards with his long hair tucked under the hat and behind his ears.] Beav: WRESTLING FANS! WELCOME TO THE FIRST EDITION OF WHIPLASH! I’M HAL CLEAVER ALONGSIDE MY PARTNER MIKEY MUNSON, AND TONIGHT HAS BEEN DUBBED TRIPLE THREAT THURSDAY! Mouth: That’s right my portly side kick! Tonight we’re going to qualify four more wrestlers into the 16 person tournament that will decide both the Showtime Championship AND the CWC World Championship! Beav: And on top of that, we have a HUGE main event between three of the toughest sons of guns out there who have all qualified for the tournament already by winning their matches last week! Mouth: Please tell me there’s no more “Sadistic Madness” or “Tai Chi” matches... Beav: First of all, it’s Tai PEI, Mouth! And no, tonight is nothing but a night of Triple Threat matches! Mouth: Thank god... [Suddenly, the lights start to flicker in the arena, going almost black a couple of times, with a faint sound of a heart beat sounding. Right before the lights go back to normal, the heart beat stops and an evil laugh echoes out through the arena.] Beav: What in heaven’s name was that? Mouth: Like I’M supposed to know? Beav: It was just one of those...remedial questions, Mouth... Mouth: ....rhetorical...the word...is...rhetorical. How many times have we been through this over the past TEN YEARS!!! Beav: I don’t know, Mouth! I haven’t kept count! Anyway, we’re just getting word that Wes Carson has NOT shown up here in San Francisco, and that La Ultima Cebolla is going to be replacing him... Mouth: But The Border Patrol’s not here either!!! And that’s the first match!
--Celebrating Black History Month-- [We once again cut to the back, where we see on of San Francisco’s finest knocking on the door to Bryan Baxman’s office. Baxman opens the door, and sees the police officer, and looks at him slightly confused.] Baxman: What can I do for you officer? Officer: I have a couple of men in custody that claim to work for you...care to claim them? [Baxman raises an eyebrow, as the cop motions from off camera for someone to come by him. Entering the scene from the right is the team of The Border Patrol. However, The Flying Burrito is wearing a “Malcom X” hat over his mask with a traditional African robe on over his tights, and La Ultima Cebolla is wearing a Martin Luther King, Jr. T-shirt and dark sunglasses over his mask. Baxman’s eyes are wide open, trying to comprehend the scene.] Baxman: Um...yeah...they’re mine. Where were they? Officer: Crashing a Black History Month celebration a few blocks away... [Baxman shoots a nasty glare at the tag team, who are excitable as always.] Baxman: What the HELL is wrong with you two? [The pair look at each other, and then back to Baxman. The Flying Burrito speaks first, with his words sounding extra comical considering his Hispanic accent.] TFB: Peace...my brotha.... [La Ultima Cebolla holds up his right hand in a fist.] LUC: Black Power! [Baxman stands dumbfounded, rolling his eyes. Finally he looks to the officer, who speaks before the Chairman can.] Officer: They’re all yours. Have a good night. [The officer walks off, and gets right into the faces of the luchador tag team.] Baxman: You know what, I don’t even want to know...but Cebolla, you’re wrestling tonight too! LUC: Yo? En a wrestling match? Si! Si!Cuando? Baxman: NOW! Get out there! And Burrito! TFB: Si, my nigga? Baxman: What did you just....ugh...nevermind...GO GET THAT DAMN CRAP OFF OF YOU AND GET READY FOR YOUR MATCH! [The two look at each other for a few seconds, and then back to Baxman, and at the same time....] TFB & LUC: Que? [Baxman shakes his head in disgust, heads back into his office, and slams the door in their faces. Cut back to ringside.]
–Match: Tournament Qualifying Match - NC-17 vs. Taryn Terror vs. La Ultima Cebolla– Mouth: I can’t believe we have to watch those idiots again. What in the hell were they doing at a Black History Month celebration? Beav: I don’t know, Mouth! They’re not even African American! Mouth: .....you don’t say...... CR: This match is a triple threat qualifying match, scheduled for one fall…introducing first… ['Hold On' – KoRn hits the arena sound system to a decent crowd pop.] The venue's lighting is dimmed slowly down to complete darkness, before flickering lights begin to illuminate both the crowd and the ring.... With aversion, this insertion... came so swiftly A loud explosion of silver pyro from either side of the stage erupts in the pause of music, and from the smoke that was left in its wake, emerges Taryn TERROR. She stands at the top of the stage for a few moments wearing a long black coat over her usual ring attire, pointing out to the crowd. Taryn makes a T with her hands and holds them in the air before walking down the ramp towards the ring area, visibly walking slightly in rhythm with her own theme music. This illness is like a monster that is... eating us alive... She enters the ring between the middle and top ropes and stands up on one of the turnbuckles, taking off her coat, which has her usual blue and white TT Logo on the back of it. She swings the coat around her head and throws it out to the crowd, who all instinctively make a dive for it. Taryn smiles as they do so, turning around and taking a seat on the top turnbuckle.] CR: …from Los Angeles, California…weighing 137 pounds…Taryn Terror! HC: A big night for this young lady, a win here and she’s on the fast track to superstardom. MM: And a loss and it’s back to Wal-Mart where she belongs! CR…and her opponent… ["The Mexican Hat Dance" plays to pretty much no reaction from the crowd CR: …from San Juan, Mexico…weighing 165 pounds… La Ultima Cebolla! HC: What’s the right word to describe this guy? Special? MM: Retard, simply put, he’s retarded! CR: And their opponent… [Fever For the Flava" by Hot Action Cop [The lights glare purple and pink, and suddenly "Fever For the Flava" by Hot Action Cop fires up. The video tron flashes us random images of babies, rainbows, small animals, and the kool-aid man before the words "Rated NC-17" appear across the screen. The crowd gets to their feet as an exuberant NC-17 appears at the top of the ramp way, loud cheers radiating throughout the arena. He starts to make his way down, slapping high-fives with the fans and generally just being a good guy when suddenly he stops dead in his tracks, as if he's forgotten something. That's when he spins around and points with both arms over his head at the beautiful Barbie Kellers, who is just now emerging from the back. The cheers get a little louder and even some catcalls can be heard as the couple make their way down to ringside, NC-17 holding his girlfriend's hand.] CR: …from Gary, Indiana…weighing 234 pounds…NC-17 HC: A great young wrestler who could really… MM: Holy crap his girlfriend is smoking hot! HC: Do you mind? MM: Not at all, let’s go Barbie! Woo hoo! [A fantastic, hard hitting and high action contest between NC-17 and Taryn Terror, with LUC being the punching bag for them both. In the early going LUC is knocked out of the ring with a double drop kick, allowing NC-17 and Terror to trade quick reversals and some chain wrestling. NC-17 is able to use his power and size to take control after Terror goes for a hip toss and he blocks it before levelling her with a lariat. NC-17 knocks LUC back out the ring again and takes control with a standing drop kick on Terror for a two count and a fisherman’s suplex for another two count. LUC tries coming off the top rope, only to be met with a drop kick to the ribs by NC-17 for his trouble. The middle of the match sees Terror come back into it, she ducks a spinning kick from LUC and drills him with a snap suplex before leap frogging a spear from NC-17 and hitting him with a shining wizard kick for a two count. She takes control with a reverse DDT on LUC and then uses the ropes to springboard onto NC-17’s shoulders and flip him over with a hurricaranna for a close two count. The finish of the match comes with Terror avoiding a charge from NC-17 in the corner and then hitting him in the back with a drop kick that knocks him out the ring! LUC goes for a bulldog, but Terror blocks it and quickly nails the Terror-fied for the 3 count on LUC and the big win!] [WINNER VIA PINFALL: TARYN TERROR]
–An Arrival– [We are cutting backstage as backstage interviewer Tiffany Jackson is standing in the packing garage.] Tiffany: Guys we are backstage and a limo pulled up a few moments ago and I am waiting to see who is getting out. [The driver opens his door and then makes his way to the back, he opens the door and Shane Hahn appears.] Tiffany: It’s Shane Hahn, a bright, young and tonight a very sharply dressed member of the roster. Shane where did you get all this money? Voice: That would be me… [The camera turns and pans from the shoes up to a man holding a title and dressed incredibly sharp. He is followed by three women.] Tiffany: Oh my god… Shane: Excuse us we have somewhere we have to be…
--Aw, aren’t they cute?-- [The locker room was nearly pitch black dark, the Plexiglas over the fixtures shattered, leaving jagged holes that loomed overhead, almost ominous. One single, pitiful bulb still flickered with life, buzzing if one cared to listen hard enough to hear it. The broken bits of plastic and glass littered the floor like a minefield, leaving any approach to the man sitting on the simple wooden bench to be noticeable. That wasn’t his intention. The rampage had been borne of pure emotion, and not of any hidden agenda. He heard footsteps crunching over the littered glass and plastic, and didn't bother looking up as he reached for the tape in his open duffel bag. He could see just fine in the red glow of the EXIT sign above the door.] Jackson: Tell Baxman I'll pay for the damages. Jackson: I just... get so sick of this sometimes. This endless game, pretending to be something I'm not, so they'll cheer or boo. It doesn't matter how Wakefield spins what happened at the comic book store. They'll think it was all a work, just a stunt to put myself over again. Jerks like me, we don't do burnout. We keep on going, flipping off everyone into the sunset... [He chuckled, and she looked pleased as a faint smile appeared on his lips.] [He winked at her as she patted the tape around his wrist. Jackson flexed his fingers, and grinned before giving her the other hand.] Jackson: I dunno... that was a pretty big maybe. Did you see how huge Lenex's thighs are? It's gonna be hard to put that boy down for the count. Upgrade that maybe to a definitely, and I think I've found my reason... [Georgie smiled cheekily, and finished off the other hand, giving the knuckles a kiss before biting the tape free of the roll.]
--Match: Kostoff vs. Kyle Kaupp vs. Georgie Nickles– Mouth: Those two are enough to make me puke. Beav: Why, Mouth? Neither one of them are bleeding! Mouth: DAMN IT BEAV! That’s enough out of you! Cassandra: The following contest is a triple threat qualifying match for the CWC Championship Tournament, and is scheduled for one fall! [Lights dim out as the open cords of "Bodies on Bodies" pounds thorugh the arena. A single green light shines down on the stage as Kostoff stands there looking out at the ring. He slowly make shis way down to the ring with intentisty etched on his face. A mixture of cheers and boos rain down around him as he steps through the ropes and looks out at the crowd.] Cassandra: Introducing first, weighing in at 285 pounds and wrestling out of Tampa, Florida....KOSTOFF!!! Beav: Kostoff certainly is a beast, but he just missed pulling off the victory last week in the Four Corner Survival Match. But the former PWX Next Generation Champion has another chance to qualify for the tournament right here tonight! [Green streaks of pyro fall from the sky as *Money* by Pink Floyd plays through the arena. In the entrance ramp appears Kyle Kaupp out of the darkness. He seems quite busy on his cell phone as he pays no attention to the crowd as he starts to make his way down the ramp. He takes the steps slowly only stopping in the middle of the ring to continue his conversation while putting his finger over his mouth to hush the crowd. He stops and realizes something, and them motions towards the back where his own hired referee Curtis comes out wearing a referee’s shirt. As they reach ringside, head referee Seymour Fawles jumps out of the ring, shakes him off, and orders him back towards the locker room area.] Cassandra: And now making his way to the ring, weighing in at 190 pounds and wrestling out of Cincinnati, Ohio....KYLE “THE COMPANY MAN” KAUPP! Mouth: This guy is GREAT! He even brings his own referee to the ring with him! Beav: But good ol’ Seymour’s not going to let that happen, as it shouldn’t! Mouth: He’s just trying to make sure the match gets called fairly, that’s all! [As the lights go out in the arena, the words “Never Surrender, Never Give Up... Rebellion is my name” is heard – Georgie's voice. “Make a Move” by Lost Prophets plays over the P.A. System as four spotlights shine out over the fans and then centralize at the ramp, as Georgie jumps through the curtain, raising her hands into the air giving devil horns, being followed by her manager and father - Michael Nickles who seemed to be humored by her energy. Jumping several times before taking off at a jog down the ramp and moving towards the ring. As she gets to the apron, she shrugs out of her coat, leaving it in a pile at her feet before leaping up onto the apron. Grabbing hold of the top rope, she jumps over it, and lands onto her knees. As she lands on her knees her fists thrust upwards towards the heavens, as thumb and pointers come out, two white and two purple pyros go off. Kipping up to her feet she moves towards the corner and stretches, keeping an eye on both of her opponents.] Cassandra: And finally, now in the ring, weighing in at 137 pounds and wrestling out of Chicago, Illinois...”THE REAL REBEL CHILD” GEORGIE NICKLES!!! Mouth: Jax is a lucky guy...I’d love to have a go at that Rebel Child for a night... Beav: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, Mouth! Mouth: I don’t live anywhere NEAR Jackson...plus, they’re not married! [The bell rings to start the match, as Kostoff and Kaupp figure the easiest course of action is to eliminate the one they consider the weakest link. After a failed double whip to the rope, Georgie takes out Kostoff first with a flying elbow, knocking him out of the ring through the ropes. After going on the attack against Kaupp, she hits a variety of strikes and speed oriented moves, using her smaller size and quickness to gain the upperhand for the first part of the match. A mistake on her part turns the tide and Kaupp uses his strength advantage to swing momentum in his direction, executing a variety of suplexes and slams. Kostoff finds his way back into the ring, and after a brief exchange of punches, Kaupp hits his “Money” finisher from the top rope onto Kostoff and covers him, but Georgie comes back to just in time to break up the three count. After trading some shots back and forth, Georgie is sent reeling into the corner, where Kaupp charges in with a lowered shoulder, but she gets out of the way just in time, causing him to slam his shoulder into the ring post. Pulling him out of the corner, she rolls him up with a schoolboy, but he kicks out at two. Once both are back to their feet, Kaupp rakes her eyes while the referee wasn’t watching, picks her up to slam her, but Kostoff is back to his feet again. He sees Kostoff, drops her, and Kostoff hits the Dominator on him, and goes for the cover, but with the referee out of position, Georgie gets back up and kicks him in the groin from behind, causing the big man to fall to his knees and roll away in pain. Georgie hooks Kaupp’s leg for the three count and picks up the victory.] [WINNER VIA PINFALL: GEORGIE NICKLES]
–A Man Reborn– [The scene opens up backstage, in the locker room of Peter Lenex. Here, we see Lenex himself sitting on the far bench, his back against the wall, his head cocked at an angle so that he is looking up to the light fixture on the ceiling. He is wearing his ring attire, and even has his black trench coat on, and his taped hands are clasped in front of him.] "You spend years carving a name for yourself, just to have it disrespected. "You spend months tossing aside vermin, just to have your accomplishments spat on. "You spend days proving your point, only to have it ignored. "Whenever you think you might have finally surrounded yourself with people who look like they actually care about the past, with people who can accept what you have done, who can hear what you have done and not ignore it. You figure that with age people grow smarter and grow more interested in what other veterans have to say. "Even if they tossed it all aside with a joke or two, it would have more of an impact than it did this week." [He sits forward, now looking straight forward. Straight at us.] "But this week, I walked into the throng of two men who could care less what I did. They only care for my mistakes. Trying to pick apart my failures and pick apart where I went wrong. Where they think I'll go wrong this week. But they are also two men who do not believe in practice. Who do not believe in training. The errors I have made in the past, the ones that you are poking at, have been fixed. They have been dealt with. "No longer do I let the worthless peons like Skylar Kelly get to me. No longer do I let some aging pseudo-philosopher tell me how to live my life. I have learned from every mistake I made, and I am better off for it. "I've taken what of your past I knew with good conscience. I've heard what you both had to say, and to take a few words from one of the two worth mentioning, I've heard it all before. And as I get better, and as everything that comes out of your mouth brings with it shades of re-runs, I can only smile. I can only smile, because as you talk in your ignorant talk, looking through your clouded vision - insane or not - I train to make your lives a living hell." [He places his forearms on his knees and leans forward, still looking at us.] "I have warned the two of you. I have told you two that I will stop at nothing to achieve this job. And now, NOW, your time is coming to an end. NOW, I am going to show you what I have been preaching for the past few days. Since I walked through the doors of CWC. I am still the God of War, but I am also a man reborn. "A man fueled by the hunger to destroy, the thirst to spill blood, the desire to watch life escape the bodies of the worthless. There is no more finishing third." [He cracks a smile.] "I will be the ultimate victor." [The scene fades to black.]
--Look who it is– [“Back in Time” by Huey Lewis and the News blares as Shane Hahn makes his way to the ring. He climbs into the ring and has a mic in hand.] Shane: I came here to save everyone from the future that is going to damn this country to hell. You see where I come from hell is waking up every day and realizing that it was better for some t be dead. I was sent back to save you but without any money without any purpose I am destined to fail. So that is why I signed with a sports entertainment management firm. They gave me money, resources that I could have only dreamed of, to continue my quest to save each and every one of you. Shane: So without further ado introducing the head of NH Sports Management Incorporated, he is the CEO and founding member and the man that has promised to make me a superstar….Noah Hanson! [“Killing In The Name” by Rage Against the Machine blares and Noah Hanson, Karen Hanson, Monica and Kimberly all make their way. Noah is dressed very dapper in a suit and has the WCWA Heavyweight title slung over his shoulder and finally topped off with his trademark Noah Hanson Oakley sunglasses. Karen hands him a mic and he begins to speak.] Noah: Thank you Shane and of course welcome to NH Sports Management. And everyone this man is going to be the next big superstar; this man was revolutionizing HATE Wrestling until the fed went belly up. He was a man that was destined for stardom, he hit hard times and now he is going to turn this fed upsidedown. [Noah moves his title from one shoulder to the next] Noah: You see I am a firm believer that greatness besets greatness. I am going to help Shane become great and each and every one of these hapless fans are going to bear witness to the birth of the next great superstar… [Noah turns and points to Shane] Noah: This man Shane Hahn is your messiah, a messiah that will save your future! [The crowd in the ring claps at the proclamation.] Noah: So with that I bid CWC a found ado, girls let’s go except Kimberly she will be accompanying Shane on his quest. [“Killing In the Name” reprises as the group exits the ring]
--Match: Kirsta Lewis vs. Patrick Pines vs. The Flying Burrito– Cassandra: The following contest is a triple threat qualifying match for the CWC Championship Tournament! Beav: We’re ready to continue with the tournament qualifying matches, this one should be a heckuva match-up! Mouth: Damn, Kirsta’s hot... Beav: Is that ALL you ever think about Mouth? Mouth: No... Beav: Could have fooled me! Mouth: She has a cool motorcycle too! Beav: [sighs] [The arena lights go down as "Animal" by Nickleback pipes though the arena's PA system. There is a loud thundering roar as a huge Harley appears at the entrance. It stops as its engine roars even louder. Kirsta Lewis appears dressed all in black leather and a motorcycle helmet, covering her head. As the music stops, the engine roars and she rides the bike down to the ringside area. Circling the ring three times before it stops and is turned off. Kirsta slides off the bike and pushes the kick stand down. Looking around the arena and walking over to the ring steps, mounting them slowly sliding though the ring ropes and standing there.] Cassandra: Introducing first, weighing in at 130 pounds, and wrestling out of Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.... “THE HELL CAT” KIRSTA LEWIS!!! Beav: Well we saw her backstage with Mr. Baxman earlier tonight, and she seems to have something on him...but I can’t put my finger on it! Mouth: How can you keep those sausages you call fingers on ANYTHING, Beav? [The arena lights go down and the opening to “Don't Stop Believing” blares over the speakers as a figure under a spotlight emerges from back. He looks primed for battle, ready to dominate. Heading towards the middle of the stage, he soaks in the crowd's reaction and grins in excitement. With a loud “Woooo!”, he raises his fist into the air with authority, and, without warning, his music begins to skip, looping the words “small-town girl” several times before cutting off entirely. His video, meanwhile, begins to blink out before eventually displaying the words “Tracking Error.” Even his special lighting cue is gone, leaving him with the flickering house lights. A thoroughly bummed out Pines sighs despondently before heading into the ring.] Cassandra: And now making his way to the ring, weighing in at 190 pounds, and wrestling out of Wolbach, Nebraska...PATRICK PINES!!! Beav: Do his tights say what I think they say? Mouth: Huh? Oh wow....that takes some balls...get it? Balls? His tights say Penis? Beav: Funny, Mouth... [The lights in the arena start to fade, but have a hard time staying there as the power seems to fluctuate to the lighting. The Mexican Hat Dance begins to blast, as The Flying Burrito comes out in his bright colored tights and mask, but still wearing the MLK T-shirt from his Black History Month celebration. He jump around as pyrotechnics start to go off, but as always, falter and just catch on fire on the stage, causing the staff to come out with fire extinguishers and turn put them out, causing The Flying Burrito to turn and look showing disappointed body language. He turns and heads back towards the ring where he slides in under the bottom rope, and once again, sparkler cannons on the ring posts barely throw out a few sparks and some smoke before catching on fire again as the music dies out.] Cassandra: And finally, weighing in at 178 pounds, and wrestling out of Mexico City, Mexico...THE FLYING BURRITO! Mouth: I really hate these idiots. They stole my tacos one time back in CCW! Beav: Actually Mouth, I meant to tell you about that back then...it wasn’t The Flying Burrito... Mouth: YOU ATE MY TACOS!!! YOU FAT BASTARD!!! [The bell rings and The Flying Burrito immediately goes on the attack with a series of punches and kicks to Patrick Pines, but Pines quickly manages to shove him down to the mat where Kirsta Lewis quickly drops a knee across his forehead. Pines and Lewis pick up TFB and hit him with a double vertical suplex that sends him rolling out of the ring and out to the floor. Kirsta then goes on the attack with Pines, assaulting him with a battery of strikes and moves on the run, using her quickness to gain an early advantage. Pines manages to turn the tables on her by lowering the top rope as she was coming at him, sending her flying out of the ring and crashing into the front of the announcer’s table. On the outside, Pines uses every hard surface possible to inflict pain on Kirsta. Once he finally decides to get her back into the ring, he goes for a cover but the Hell Cat manages to kick out after two. Pines gets to his feet to continue his assault, but is caught off guard by The Flying Burrito, who lands a cross body press from the top rope. Instead of going for a pin, however, TFB pulls Kirsta to her feet and tries to whip her across the ring, but she reverses and sends him across the ring, nearly taking his head off on the comeback with a Hell’s Bitch Kick. She goes for the pin, but Pines manages to dive over and break it up just in time. Both wrestlers back to their feet, Kirsta catches him off guard with a forearm to the face, sending him stumbling back. She measures him up for her second Hell’s Bitch Kick of the night, but Pines ducks underneath it, grabs her, and hits his finisher “The Blast from Nebraska” and gets the three count for the win.] [WINNER VIA PINFALL: PATRICK PINES]
--Unexcused Interruption-- [David Lee Townsend walks into the office of one Bryan Baxman, who gives him a nasty glare for not even having the common courtesy to knock. David walks up to the desk.] Baxman: ......come in? DLT: "Chill, man. Listen, I wanted to thank you for giving Matt the night off. Y'know, with the whole lawsuit, things have been kinda...y'know...loopy." [DLT is about to leave, and right outside the door he sees Matt about to go into the office, and stops him.] DLT: "What's up? I thought you had the night off?" [Matt looks a little bit pissed off towards DLT.] Matt: "Chill? Chill?! Dude, did you hear what that...Georgie whatshername said?" DLT: "Um...Matt, technically I don't work here. Why?" Matt: "She talked about the 'rebirth of the revolution." [Now DLT starts to get mad.] DLT: "And...she said THE revolution? Didn't specify anything else about it?" [DLT starts to get mad himself, when Brandon walks by, and the two of them look at each other.] DLT: "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Matt: "God, I hope not." Baxman: Gentlemen...no offense...but mind continuing this conversation ELSEWHERE? [DLT rolls his eyes and leads Matt, going in the same direction that Brandon is.]
–Match: Shane Hahn vs. Adam Joseph vs. Kameron Chase– CR: This match is a triple threat qualifying match, scheduled for one fall…already in the ring, Kameron Chase and Adam Joseph. HC: Two guys with a lot to prove in CWC. I know Mr Baxman will be watching this one closely. MM: I have it on good authority that if they don’t start showing some improvement in the ring soon, he’s going to feed them to Mr Norcia! CR: And introducing their opponent… [Back in Time by Huey Lewis and the News plays to a decent crowd pop as Shane Hahn makes his way quickly down the ramp and into the ring.] CR: from Las Vegas, Nevada…weighing 225 pounds…Shane Hahn HC: Hahn looks all business here tonight and he’s not even waiting for the opening bell! MM: He obviously wants a place in this tournament and who can blame him? First CWC World Champion or Showtime Champion, that’s big bucks right there! [The match is just a total squash with Hahn dominating from start to finish. Chase and Joseph look out of their depth and take some serious punishment from Shane Hahn. He takes Chase down early with a wicked Judo throw and then uses his quick hands and feet to nail various kicks and strikes on Joseph. Chase tries to battle back but Hahn cuts him off with a side Russian leg sweep and then drills Joseph with a big time springboard DDT that gets a huge pop from the crowd. The finish comes when Hahn slams Chase onto Joseph and then comes off the top rope with a leg drop to both men! With either man easy pickings Hahn nails Chase with The Blast From The Past superkick before taking down Joseph with the Hello McFly running bulldog. The crowd are loving the total dominance of Hahn as he climbs to the top rope and hits the Flux Capacitor onto Chase, he lays the unconscious Joseph on top of Chase and covers both men for the three count to a huge crowd pop!] [WINNER VIA PINFALL: SHANE HAHN]
–The Money Behind the Man– [We cut backstage, where we find Bryan Baxman sitting at the desk in his office, and sitting across from him with her arms folded across her chest and legs crossed is Kirsta Lewis. She’s glaring at him, as he sits there looking helpless.] Baxman: Look Kirsta, I don’t know what you want me to do. You lost your qualifying match. I can’t just put you in the tournament anyway. [Kirsta’s eyes narrow.] Kirsta: We’ll see. Your phone should be ringing any min... [She stops, as Baxman’s cell phone begins to ring and vibrate on his desk in front of him. He looks at the Caller ID screen and lets out a deep sigh, looking back up at Kirsta, who now has a smirk on her face. He opens the phone.] Baxman: This is Bryan. [He listens to the person on the other end of the conversation.] Baxman: I understand that sir, but she lost her... [Obviously cut off, he leans back in his chair looking frustrated.] Baxman: But if I do that for her, I’m going to have to do it for everyone, or we’ll have mutiny on our hands. [Baxman’s eyes open wide as he suddenly sits back up and grabs a pen, and starts scribbling notes on his paper. He finally stops, puts the pen down, and glares at Kirsta who’s smile is getting bigger as she’s obviously finding this funny.] Baxman: Yes sir, I understand. I’ll let everyone know after the show tonight... [He listens again, once again leaning back in the chair.] Baxman: But sir, he hasn’t even debuted yet...we can’t just put him in... [He hangs up the phone and looks across to Kirsta.] Baxman: Fine...you’re in the tournament. Along with Kyle Kaupp, NC-17, and Matthew Murphy. [Kirsta uncrosses her legs and stands up out of his chair.] Kirsta: Hopefully now you understand how things are going to work around here... [Before he can respond, she leaves the office and slams the door behind her.] Baxman: This is getting to be a problem... [Cut back to ringside.]
--Match: MAIN EVENT - Adam “Crazed” James vs. Jackson vs. Peter Lenex-- Cassandra: Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for our main event of the night! [The crowd pops.] Cassandra: The following contest is a triple threat match, and is scheduled for one fall! Beav: This one should be a battle for the ages! All three won their matches at The Big Bang Theory and have to be considered favorites heading into the title tournament! Mouth: As long as there’s no more Sadistic Madness involved, I’m ready for this! [The opening chords of Metallica's "The Frayed End of Sanity" hits the sound system as the lights in the arena cut to complete darkness. The crowd falls silent, as the faint chanting can be heard over the guitar and base drum. White and blue lights strobe on the stage, barely playing back light to the figure that stands with his arms down at his sides, and his head hanging low between his shoulders. Suddenly, the music cuts and all that can be heard is whispers that build getting louder and louder, followed by a high pitched shriek. "SOMEONE PLEASE STOP THE VOICES!" The words come over the speakers in a child's frightened voice. Suddenly the music kicks in again and the lights return to normal. The man standing on the stage is still in the same pose, his eyes pointed toward the ring, even though his head is down. The look in his eyes is almost frightening as a smirk slowly builds across his lips. He slowly makes his way to the ring, still keeping his eyes on the ring, looking past his eye brows as his head remains down. He rolls in, under the bottom rope, and hops to his feet, walking to the furthest corner from the entrance and allowing himself to sit on the second turnbuckle with his hands down at his sides, remaining motionless and waiting for him opponent.] Beav: Well Crazed is in the ring now, and he’s looking VERY confident after his complete annihilation of Jeremiah Belmont last week! Mouth: Let’s not bring that up... Beav: Belmont’s out indefinitely because of it, and I can’t say I’d want to get back into the ring any time soon either! Mouth: Beav, you’d NEVER want to get in the ring! Your jelly donut loving ass wouldn’t last 10 seconds in there with The Flying Burrito for Christ’s sake! Beav: [chuckles] I could use a good jelly donut right ‘bout now, too....raspberry.... Mouth: You’re unbelievable... [The lights dim, heavy mist filling the ramp as strobe lights begin to pulse slowly. A steady bass throb begins, growing in volume, sounding much like a heartbeat. A single gunshot shatters the silence, followed by mocking laughter and Jackson's voice hurling insults before the music skips, and then the sounds of 'Lies' by Evanescence filters through the speakers. Dark red strobes pulsate on the entranceway, and a dark figure moves among them, stepping forward as indigo fountains of pyrotechnic spark either side of him. He strides forwards, ignoring the crowd reaction. He circles the ring once, his eyes steady, a look of angry concentration on his face, before ascending the ring steps and climbing between the ropes. Jackson stands in the middle of the ring, his head thrown back in a triumphant roar as the music comes to a grinding halt, cut off with a squeal of feedback.] Beav: Still showing some of the scars from the brutal Tai Pei Death Match that he came out victorious against Hardcore Legend in just one week ago, you’ve got to believe that he’s not at 100%...at least physically! Mouth: Maybe not...but that guy just...keeps going. It’s absolutely ridiculous. [The lights dim down as "Ether" begins to play throughout the arena. Smoke begins to pour onto the stage, covering the floor from the entrance to the ringside area.] "I'll never hesitate "I know everyone [The curtains part and the "God of War" himself walks out from the back wearing his black trench coat. He pauses at the top of the ramp, smoke swirling around his legs, before slowly walking down the ramp. He reaches the ring and climbs up the ring steps, slowly climbing into the ring and pacing around in a circle, his eyes showing no response to the crowds boos.] Beav: And there we have it! All three competitors are in the ring. Let’s go back to Cassandra for the introductions! [As the three competitors all stand in separate sections of the ring, their eyes all dart around keeping an eye on one another, as the red headed ring announcer stands in the center.] Cassandra: Ladies and gentlemen, introducing first, weighing in at 243 pounds and wrestling out of Nyack, New York...ADAM “CRAZED” JAMES!!! [The crowd lets out a nice pop for Crazed, who doesn’t pay them any mind.] Cassandra: Introducing next, weighing in at 287 pounds, and wrestling out of Chicago, Illinois....JACKSON!!! [The crowd lets out a big pop, but much like Crazed, he is more focused on keeping an eye on his two opponents.] Cassandra: And finally, weighing in at 276 pounds, and wrestling out of Raleigh, North Carolina...”THE GOD OF WAR” PETER LENEX!!! [The crowd lets out a resounding chorus of boos as Cassandra quickly exits the ring.] Beav: We’re set to go, folks! DING! DING! DING! Mouth: And they’re off!!!! Oh...wait...this isn’t the Derby...that’s your cup of tea.... Beav: I love a good day at the track bettin’ on the ponies... Mouth: Is that what you call it nowadays? “Bettin’?” [The three men slowly circle each other around the ring before they all have the same idea and converge in the center throwing punches, and we instantly find ourselves in a three person brawl. Jackson and Crazed finally get on the same page and both turn their attention towards Lenex, as they back him up into a corner while still landing punch after punch. Once having him firmly in the corner, Jackson backs out towards the center of the ring and Crazed whips Lenex out of the corner, where he runs right into a short armed clothesline from Jackson knocking him down. Jackson quickly reaches down and pulls Lenex back to his feet, but Crazed comes charging out of the corner with both arms spread and takes them both out.] Beav: As is normal in triple threat matches, the seemed alliance between Crazed and Jackson was very short lived! Mouth: It’s every man for himself in there! [Crazed quickly picks up Jackson and rifles a couple of quick chops across his scarred chest and backs him up into the ropes before trying to whip him across the ring, but Jackson reverses and sends Crazed to the far ropes instead. Jackson grabs him on the come back, lifts him up, and slams him down hard with a spinebuster, and then quickly hooks the leg for a cover.] ONE!!!
T... Kickout! Beav: Not even a two count! [Lenex is back to his feet now and delivers a stiff kick to the ribs of Jackson, and then quickly pulls him to his feet, lifting a few quick knees into his midsection before hooking him up and hitting a German suplex. He pops right back up to his feet and delivers a big boot to the stomach, hooks him up again, turns him around with the back of his head on his shoulder, and drops down with a neckbreaker. Lenex floats over Jackson for a cover now.] ONE!!!
TWO!!! [Crazed dives in to break it up.] Beav: This has been one heckuva square dance so far! Mouth: DAMN IT!!! WE _ALMOST_ MADE IT THE ENTIRE NIGHT WITHOUT SOME SORT OF FARM REFERENCE!!! [Crazed now pulls Lenex up to his feet and pummels him with five hard rights to the jaw, when we see some commotion in the front row of the crowd.] Beav: What in the world? Mouth: It’s that Zion idiot again!!! [The camera cuts over to the front row, where Darin Zion is holding up a sign with one hand that reads “I’M RIGHT HERE MURPHY!!! COME GET ME!!” while beligerantly yelling between taking gulps of a beer about wanting Matt Murphy to come out to ringside . He can barely stand from being drunk, and is spilling his beer on the fans around him.] Beav: Matthew Murphy’s not even HERE tonight! [Security finally arrives and three guards grab him and haul him away, but he doesn’t go without a fight.] Mouth: Why can’t people tell when they’re not wanted? Beav: I don’t know, but we still have a wrestling match to call here, Mouth! [We cut back to the ring, where Jackson is back in the mix, and he and Lenex are now doubling up on Crazed, rocking him back and forth with punches between the two, when Jackson finally delivers a boot to the stomach, hooks him up, and drives his head into the mat with a DDT. He rolls him over and hooks the leg.] ONE!!!
TWO!!! [Lenex stomps on the back of Jackson’s head in time to break up the count.] Beav: Jackson thought he could get the three count before Lenex could stop it, but it wasn’t meant to be! [Lenex pulls Jackson up again and takes him by the back of the head, pulling down while driving his knee right into his face. Jackson spins away and Lenex gives chase, clobbering him in the back of the head with a forearm and knocking him out of the ring. Lenex turns his attention back around to Crazed, but is surprised to find Adam James back on his feet and exploding into him, charging him back into the corner and slamming him into the turnbuckles before unleashing a flurry of punches to the ribs. Content that he’s pounded him enough for now, he whips Lenex out of the corner and sends him slamming into the far turnbuckles, and charges in after him, connecting with a big body splash. Lenex stumbles out of the corner and James picks him up and hits the Dementia Driver, drops down, and covers him.] ONE!!!
TWO!!!
THR... Beav: JACKSON DOVE BACK INTO THE RING TO BREAK IT UP JUST IN TIME!!! [Crazed jumps up to his feet and immediately begins laying the boots to Jackson, who’s still on his stomach. Holding on to the ropes, he drives the bottom of his foot into the neck and back of the head of Jackson before finally just smashing his foot into the side of Jackson’s head and pulling hard on the top rope to give himself leverage. The referee starts a five count, and Crazed lets it go at the count of four. He pulls Jackson back up to his feet and sets him up with a double underhook, and hits the suplex out of it, floating over him for a cover.] ONE!!!
TWO!!!
THRE... Shoulder up! Mouth: HE GOT HIS SHOULDER UP! Beav: I figured he was down for the count, there! Mouth: This isn’t boxing, tubbs! Beav: There’s still a count, Mouth! [Crazed jumps to his feet and looks at the referee, backing him up against the ropes with a maniacal look in his eyes. Lenex is slowly making his way back to his feet, looks around and surveys the situation, and grabs Crazed from behind, spins him around, and hooks him up and launches him across the ring with a belly to belly throw. Lenex jumps back up again, staying on Crazed, pulls him up, and scoops him into his arms, and falls backwards for a fall away slam. He gets up to cover him, but Jackson explodes off of his hands and knees with a spear type tackle.] Mouth: I told you earlier! That guy just keeps going!!!! [Getting to his feet, he grabs a handful of hair and pulls Lenex up and nails him in the side of the head with an elbow before whipping him across the ring and off the ropes, and catching him to turn him over for a big powerslam in the center of the ring. Jackson gets up to his knees and sees Crazed getting up, and quickly returns to a vertical base, makes his way towards Crazed, and catches him in the lower back with a well placed knee shot. He pulls Crazed the rest of the way up, whips him across the ring, and back body drops him over the top rope and down to the floor. He looks down to see Crazed writhing in pain, seeming satisfied. However, as soon as he turns around, he catches a huge right hand from Lenex, followed by a left, and then a chop across the chest. Lenex grabs Jackson by the arm and whips him across the ring, but telegraphs his intentions by bending down too soon. Jackson stops on a dime, puts him in a double underhook, and hits Something Wicked!] Beav: SOMETHING WICKED!!! OUT OF NOWHERE!!! Mouth: Hardcore Legend couldn’t kick out of it...let’s see if Lenex can! [Jackson drops down for the cover.] ONE!!!
TWO!!!
THREE!!! DING! DING! DING! Beav: And Jackson wins again! Mouth: He’s GOT to be the favorite going into the tournament now! Cassandra: Ladies and gentlemen, you winner by pinfall.... [Before Cassandra can finish, the lights begin to flicker again, and this time louder, the sound of the heart beat can be heard.] Beav: What in heavens is going on? This is the second time tonight this has happened! [As the heart beat begins to spead up, the Jumbo-tron lights up with the words “Evil is Coming...” in Crimson Red Flash.] Mouth: What the hell? [Even the three competitors who just fought are all looking now, as the lights continue to flicker, and the heartbeat speeds up more and more. Suddenly, a screaming voice yells out “6 6 6" over the PA system, and the words on the screen are replaced by a glowing red pentagram, as an evil laugh is the last thing we hear once the heart beat stops. When the laugh fades out, the lights come back to normal, the screen goes blank again, and everyone in the arena is very confused.] Beav: Well apparently some sort of evil’s coming... Mouth: Thank you, Captain Obvious! Beav: We’re going to have to wait to find out just what it all means though...we’re out of time! We’ll see you next week, folks! [The scene fades out focused on Jackson, who’s walking back up the ramp with his hands on his hips, still looking up at the Jumbo-tron with a confused look.] [WINNER VIA PINFALL: JACKSON]
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